nothing ventured, nothing gained

Today I got bold. I could hardly believe as the words fell from my mouth, but this afternoon I asked a complete stranger what in the world had possessed him to decide to not ask me out.

Let me back up a little.  This morning I walked into the Apple Store Genius Bar for a little help with my new laptop. It had been sort of temperamental since I’d bought it, and Terrance, resident Genius, assured me he could work things out.  It was impossible not to notice how handsome Terrance was, good teeth, nice skin, and obviously, also a genius. Nice, right? Immediately, he was super friendly, and shortly thereafter he apologized if he was staring…it was just that, “your hair is…your…I mean…you…I…I rrreally love your hair.”  I thanked him and flashed a coy smile.  I probably giggled too, but I can’t remember for sure.  Now am I crazy, or is that at least kind of flirting?  After a little troubleshooting, he told me it would take some time to get things right.  ”Time enough to get to Coffee Bean and back?” I asked.  ”Oh yah, definitely.”  I offered to get him something and he asked for tea.  Smiling again (I really trust in that smile of mine) I waved off the five he offered, and said “don’t worry, I got it.”

When I returned, Terrance thanked me and told me he’d been lonely while I was gone.  I said I found that hard to believe, being that the store was so crowded, but he laughed and told me he had.  We kept chatting, he asked where I was from, he complimented my jewelry, but when he finished with my laptop, he didn’t ask me out.  Three hours and a movie matinee later, I decided to return to the store and find out why.

I told Terrance I wanted to ask him a question and while I knew he didn’t know me from a can of paint, I wanted him to be completely honest with me.  He got stiff.  His face looked petrified and I knew I’d made him incredibly uncomfortable even then…but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I fired away at point blank range.  ”When I was in here earlier,” I said calmly, only hinting at my earlier broad smile, “why didn’t you ask me out?”  Unnerved, he said something about not having a chance to really converse, therefore not knowing whether there was anything to me.  But I bought him a green tea, I thought, that seemed like a slick little move.  At any rate, he went on to say that he found me attractive, that he’d actually thought about asking me out, but that it just wasn’t professional to do something like that at his workplace. Okay.  I guess I can buy that.  The unprofessional thing, I suppose, but I felt like he was leaving something out.  What that was, if anything, I’m sure I’ll never know.

“Why did you ask me that?” Terrance then said, puzzled.  ”I want you to know,” I told him, “that I’m not asking you out.  And I’m not asking you to ask me out.  It’s just that I seem to always get asked out by crazy people or married guys or men who are otherwise unavailable.  You seemed normal, and you didn’t ask me out.  I guess I just wanted to know why.”  Well,” Terrance responded, “I thought about it.”

Emboldened, but slightly unsatisfied, I smiled, wished Terrance a nice day, and walked out of the store.  Maybe I’ll smooth out my approach next time, but I feel liberated in acknowledging the fact that I am completely not above asking, in so many words, “seriously though, why won’t you date me?”

*and for the record, this is exactly what happened today.  I only changed the Genius’ name to protect the innocent.